I busied myself preparing food and garlands for YOU,
Getting the right type of flowers for YOU,
The specified types of prasadh (offerings), that would please YOU,
Making sure that I would offer YOU everything I could think of,
Get YOU dressed up and adorned way before my sadhana…
I planned to give YOU all that was required according to the scriptures to fulfil YOU,
To make YOU happy with me,
To bless me with boons and shower me with YOUR love…
I chanted the sacred texts meticulously and pronounced every word cautiously so that I would not offend YOU,
And I followed the rules and stayed within the confines of the strict sadhana of do’s and don’t’s so that I did not belittle YOUR sacred texts…
That I needed to come to YOU clean, fasting and ritualistically “cleansed,” so that I earn YOUR favours,
That I come to YOU at a particular time of day and not earlier than the time prescribed so that I don’t start on the wrong footing with YOU…
So that I receive YOUR love and YOUR blessings…
Only to find that YOU didn’t ask for any of these things I offered YOU,
That YOU didn’t see me beyond the purity of my heart and it never mattered if I came to YOU straight from work without performing my ablutions or even, fasting for the day…
That YOU never placed a value as to what I could offer YOU,
But how much love I had for YOU to be in YOUR grace…
That I didn’t have to memorize the sacred text to please YOU,
But to bask in the splendour of YOUR beauty…
That I needn’t come to YOU,
But to have YOU in rememberance in everything I do…
That I didn’t need to follow the prescribed rituals,
But to create a journey that is OURS to keep…
YOU came and showed me so much that I needed to discover about myself,
To unlearn everything I know,
To trust YOU wholeheartedly,
To have my palms open to receive,
To sink to the bottom of my own abyss,
So that, I understood the depths of my own Being within me,
To not be afraid, even when I felt unsupported,
To take the leap of faith,
To understand the waters I was drowning in,
Allowing me to unveil my own weaknesses and to face them boldly,
To break barriers and to not give in, no matter how tedious the experience may be,
To accept me for who I am, quirks and all,
That YOU will always, always be the silent force that compels me to come home to me, in YOU…
Thank you for finding YOU in me…
Jai Maa!
SUJATA NANDY WORLD GURUKUL
